Life's bigger than a roller coaster

Here I am sitting at 28; it's neither old nor young. It's what I like to call 'Perfect'! And somehow, that's not what most people my age feel. Strange!! I wonder what it is about this age that gets both women and men alike quite restless about their lives.

Before I share what I ended up discovering and how much I learned once I researched on the subject, let me fill you in on my life at this point. I, Janice Pearl D'souza, live in Mumbai (well Thane to be specific), one of the busiest, noisiest, and most crowded localities in the world! As if that wasn't enough, living on my own for the past 10 years of my life; getting educated, working, cooking, managing bills, finances and myself has probably taken up a major part of my last decade, not to mention taught me a LOT. While I spent the first 3 years still in college, the next 6 years is when life took a completely different turn - the working woman's life. Earning an income good enough to support your lifestyle in Mumbai and saving up for buying you fancy gadgets and vacations is something of an achievement in this crazy world of Mumbai. Most people struggle to find themselves under a nice roof and remain debt-free. So, I think I got by pretty well. Within 3 years of being a working woman, I took a loan and bought my first car - a gorgeous black Ford Ikon 1.3! I can't forget the day I drove out of the showroom and realised this was my first love!

I moved from one job to another and after heading Marketing and Branding for an LPO in Mumbai for 3 years until May 2008... I got to my breaking point. What's a breaking point? The point (in a particular situation) that challenges your willingness or ability to go further and it affects all other aspects in your life, pretty much until you can't think, eat or sleep right any longer. I'd reached mine - my breaking point in figuring out what I really wanted in life. What I did next perhaps still has my parents and friends puzzled, but has been, in all, possibility the best thing I've done so far in my life - I quit my job, decided to take a sabbatical and just do nothing (yes, NOTHING). Don't get me wrong, I didn't have pot loads of money to fall back on, nor a filthy rich father to be parasite to. But what I did have was guts and faith in ME; faith that life had much more to offer me than I was letting it.

Now that I was a free bird, I spent the first 3 months travelling, exploring around India and meeting friends and people I hadn't had a chance to meet over the past many years, thanks to everyone's busy schedules and commitments. Life felt good again... more meaningful. These small rendezvous brought tears of joy most often; nostalgia that choked, and memories that still lived in some corner of the child inside. But slowly, my pockets were getting empty. I had no option but to take up something. I gave it a thought I decided I wasn't going to get back to being employed for a company that only drains you dry, eats the better part of your youth, and pays you wages that you need to justify at the end of each month! I started consulting instead, but at my own leisure and pace, and only with opportunities that were challenging and interesting. This gave me the flexibility to work when I wanted and where I wanted. I promised to keep my new-found life; see and do things that really got me close to understanding life, do things that moved or changed someone in ways that mattered and most importantly, go to bed each night with immense satisfaction and eager for the next day.

Friends started closely following my life and wondered how I managed it all - work, travel, party, socialise, manage a house & finances, and get physically super fit! I started inspiring and being a role model to many. I'd bump into people on the street who hadn't seen me in a while "Wow you look great!! And you're in great shape! You look like you're growing younger". I starting having fans almost (well inspired individuals to be more precise). Then, revelations happened! It was now that, slowly, I realised almost everyone I knew was only living a so called 'showcase life'. Almost everyone of them would rather have been doing something else at that very point in their life - be with someone they cared, travel, backpack, get fit, learn something new, pursue a hobby, something....

So how come it all only remained a dream, a wish? It's funny how little importance people give to their own 'to-do lists'. We don't even make a personal to-do list. The short term to-do lists listing mostly things you want to 'get done and over with' rather than 'do because you've been dying to do it' don't count! How many times had any of them put down 'try that bakery shop at the corner & order their most sinful pastry', or 'look my sexiest at 30' on their list? I'm sure these were on many people's mind though. This thought hit me perhaps the hardest when I watched the movie The Bucket List, a Warner Bros. production starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. They couldn't have said it better! Incidentally for me, I watched this flick just around the time I was approaching my Breaking Point.

Alright, here's what I did differently - that, well may not be the one and only way to truly find meaning in life but it's an example - you need to give up your security, your mental comfort and your routine, mundane life and just take a plunge. It's like diving into a swimming pool from the 2nd level on a diving platform when you've not even learned to swim yet! Of course, you will tie a float around your waist but the jump is still scary. But you can either do it or not. Once you've jumped in, you can't think of the fears that flooded your mind just before you jumped, you need to focus on resurfacing and swimming to the edge. Let the pool be a world of unexplored opportunity and let the diving board be your might jump from conventional, predictable living to truly living! I did it, and what I have achieved within less than a year is what I will write more about in my upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

Try making your list here: http://www.43things.com

I've been putting things on there too: http://www.43things.com/person/pearljan