When Life hits the 'Pause' button

I think it's fair for me to say that we live in a time and age where most of us at least the Gen X, Y and upwards live non-stop kind of action packed lives.   To say the least, time-management and work-life balance are the biggest challenges most executives and even students deal with.  While some of us have managed to slip in time for ourselves and our own development within our maxed out schedules, there is barely any time to include an added hour for others or unplanned events.

My life is pretty much the same.  Between a well synchronized outlook calendar, smartphone and Google calendar that has every activity listed to the tee, including private and life events, the only free time seems to be that to breathe, eat and sleep.  But fortunately for me everything seemed to work perfectly well since my husband and I live in our nuclear family; my parents in a different country and his the kind who don't keep in touch.  As long as we managed to give each other our required attention and also take personal time out among our busy schedules I was pretty confident that I had created a perfect little world around me.  In fact, I could (and do, being a corporate trainer) give lessons in time management to several top executives on where and how to save precious minutes.  Why, I could even write a book on it!!!

All until a fortnight ago.....  two Mondays ago, when reality hit me!  No matter how many gadgets you have, how many efficient apps that assist you to be better at time management, no matter how organized and planned, there are some things in life that just throw you off (way off) your plans and that's when you can do nothing but stop and PAUSE because that's what life throws at you - the pause button.

Being 24 weeks into my pregnancy with our first child, like any other mother, I'd been going through a whole surge of emotions - excitement, eagerness, anxiety, joy, worry and most of all happiness.  While the first couple of months crawled by, I soon got back into my regular routine, barring a few activities which were no longer advised.  But apart from that, there seemed to be lesser time to do all the things I wanted to get done before being a full-time mom for at least half a year! I had things planned out (the perfectionist that I am) in such a way that I would have everything in order well in time before by baby was due in May.  Work wouldn't stop; I even hired two more BD execs to take on Mumbai sales while I go out of action, clients were informed and I had the next few months' plans in place.  Everything else could be handled over the phone.

On that Monday, two weeks ago, while trying hard to juggle through a very tight schedule and deadlines and a sudden urgent job that required me to travel the next day, I experienced uncomfortable tummy cramps.  I decided to down some antacids and wait it out as I had so much to take care of, it seemed like a low priority at the moment.  In my attempt to complete things and get work organized in my absence for the next couple of days, I even ignored the severity of the cramps which were now nearly unbearable.  After getting off a conference call at 6:45pm, when I could not even lift myself off my chair, I scrambled my way to ring my next door neighbour's doorbell. She's a doctor and her clinic is in the same apartment's commercial complex outside.  Only then did I realise that in my fast-paced life, I had ignored labour pains.. for nearly 20 hours and passed them off as a gas attack!  Reality hit me hard - very hard indeed!! Was it all worth it after all? Was my attempt to delay hitting the pause button myself going to result in a very bad consequence? There was no time to think - I dropped everything, got my husband and had him drive me to my gynecologist.

The next two days were a struggle.  It's a miracle that both baby & I came through safely and are now fine.  But that was a very close call, a call I could have prevented altogether.  A call that if had I the ability to go back in time I'd have taken sooner, almost immediately in retrospect.  My doctor tried her best to prevent a preterm delivery and miraculously succeeded however I spent the next 12 days confined to a declined bed at the hospital, hoping and praying my baby would stay put and stay safe. I had all kinds of pipes and wires going through me and even celebrated my birthday there.

God was kind enough to just hit the pause button this time, but sometimes our resistance to accept His plan causes pause to turn into STOP.  What really opened my eyes even more in the two weeks that I lay there was, while I had made little to no time for so many others in my life before this due to busy schedules they were making the time for me! They were there! They all had a much better awareness of how and when to use their pause buttons.  It made me realise just how selfish I'd grown, just how small my world was and opened my eyes to the possibility of a whole new universe that can exist even in the slow lane! A more meaningful one.

I now have 14 weeks at home, grounded on bed, but I don't regret it one bit. And I'm looking forward to it to reconnect with life, its meaning and most importantly the people I care for.   Most of all I thank the Lord for His mercy and grace to show me the more important things in life.  I know I'll be a better mother now, than I would have ever been before.

Uncle Ronnie, Mom, Aunt Ruby and Savio
- Just a few of the regular visitors at the hospital

Cake for Baby & me :) Thanks hubby!

Birthday at the hospital