Our Paper

A whole year has passed, an unbelievable twelve months that's only gotten better with time. This day last year we walked down the aisle and vowed to stand by each other through thick and through thin. A year later, we celebrate our Paper, first, anniversary and I can definitely say there were the thins and there were the thicks and  through it all I am even more confidence that I'm glad I institutionalized my love with you, my husband.


Three years of knowing you, three years of friendship, three years of crazy, movie-like romance and finally saying 'I do'. A year of knowing you even more and each day you turn dearer and new. Among my weakest moments and my failures you've stood right beside me and picked me up... I ask you today to forgive me my shortcomings and make me stronger in your love, just like you have this past year. May Paper turn to Silver, and Silver to Gold! May our tender affection grow and may we see each other turn old. There's nothing I feel we can't surpass after the biggest achievement we nailed. I look forward to the future because any journey with you for a companion can only be an adventure worth experiencing!


Happy Anniversary, Baby!

Break Ke Baad

Procrastination isn't a word I like, because it makes me feel incompetent, but that's what I've been doing with my blogging.  It's almost a year since my last post (Wow! A whole year has gone by. And that also means I'm a whole year older) and even with a plum for my right ring finger today after a mishap at the gym, I am determined to put an end to this impasse.

What's changed in 12 months - Let's see: my marital status (for beginners), a new home, a new life, different responsibilities and of course a whole list of other things that come with being 'MARRIED'.  So, I decided this is what I was going to blog about - My encounter with new life.

I've set sail on my new journey with Sagar Mali

I must start with saying that I never thought this would be me - All settled with a husband and a ring on my finger. I always imagined life to be just the same like it was - carefree and independent! Somehow sharing it with one other individual for the rest of my life didn't fit into that equation before.  And I never missed a thing with adventure, thrill, work, excitement, challenges and travel keeping me more company than I could handle. Everything seemed sorted out for me; why would I want to disturb the equilibrium? Until... Sagar happened to me.

When I look back and think about what made me alter the equilibrium, what clearly strikes me is never before having met another human being more caring, considerate and loving as this man.  But of course that wasn't the all-discerning reason, there was more. Here I was this  independent woman, completely unstoppable, who knew how to handle just about anything and had just about everything planned out for herself. Then came along a guy who's very nature is completely grounded and apart from the rest, with the highest self-confidence (damn, he beat me to it too!) and yet whose focus was selfless. The more I got to know him the lesser I realised I knew of me; the further away I tried to get from him the farther I got from my soul.  He caused both a confused mix of satisfying comfort and a disturbing uneasiness that made me feel incomplete for the first time in my life.  With the passion of a creator and the nurture of a gardener he planted seeds of the future in my life that were so deep-rooted, God alone could have been the mastermind.

It's no wonder then that the whole year that went by seems transcendental. And now that I've emerged on the other side of the marital fence; I can safely say marriage is not a phase or a planned progressive stage in anyone's life. It's only the most indigenous opportunity to begin a whole new life without being reborn!

This is not to say that my 'past' life was not good enough. I love both my lives; but that Janice lived to the fullest and died a 100 year old woman (in terms of fulfillment) and this Janice is only a new-born infant curious and eager to experience the new one.  I'M BACK!

From Stunt riders to buddies to friends

I've just made friends with a bunch of strangers who I've not got much in common with... It all started three weeks ago when I arrived on the set location of my shoot for another stunt-based reality show - Stunt Mania Reloaded for MTV. The show format is slightly different this time, where four squads of three boys each will compete with each other but each squad will be led by a female squad leader - a girl - who will take decisions and guide the squad helping them get to the top. Of course, none of the twelve boys who had auditioned for the show and made it to the squads were aware of this new twist. It was to be a complete surprise for them on the very first episode - a surprise that I wasn't sure whether or not they'd take pleasantly.

Chahatt, Ishita, Janice & Shaurya - Four squad leaders on MTV Stunt Mania Reloaded

So we were about to begin shooting for the first episode. Both, the boys as well as the squad leaders (me and three other girls - Chahatt, Ishita and Shaurya) were taken to the base camp or 'Stunt Academy' but very carefully and secretly so that the boys' surprise wasn't ruined. Once the boys were welcomed on the show and put into squads, it was time for the big surprise. In walked wearing Black, Red, Blue and Grey squad leader uniforms four sexy girls. The impression on the boy's faces was worth a Kodak moment. They were amazed, excited, trilled, surprised, puzzled - all at once. Alan Amin and Anouskha Manchanda, the hosts had each squad pick their own squad colours, but by picking a number. I had absolutely no clue who would pick the number that had grey - my colour; no clue what these boys were like - if we'd get along, if they were well skilled, if they were better than the others or even where they were from...

They had picked. At first glance, my three boys looked really young and like any average teenage boys. Not quite the stunt riders I had expected! I quickly got to know their names - Aditya, Nadeem and Shariq. I was then handed over the keys to our garage, the pulsars and our new homes! I kissed these keys when Alan sir handed them over to me because these were the keys to our life for the next month to come!! And this was also going to be the start of a new relationship, a new friendship; comradeship with a few and WAR with some. My boys and I picked our squad name - The SILVER PSYCHEDELICS

The Silver Psychedelics (MTV Stunt Mania Reloaded)

Sayed Nadeem (Bob) is a 19 year old kid from Bangalore whose passions are stunt riding and rapping. His top favorite rapper being 2Pac! Nadeem's an excellent off-roader and does the Seat Stander (better known as Christ) with such perfection!

Shariq Khan (Shark) is a big surprise in a tiny package! He's perhaps one of the best riders in Alan's academy this season. Shariq's control on the throttle and his excellent balance makes him a champion with wheelies, shoppies, no-handers, the human compass; but that's not it! Shariq's stunt riding is so awesome because he entertains while he performs making him perfect as a true stunt rider!

Aditya Singh Thakur (Eddy) is a local from Himachal Pradesh and has spent all his teenage life on bikes - he talks, eats, and sleeps bikes. No jokes! He's even got pictures of bike parts lying on his bedroom floor!! he's a huge fan of Chris Pfifer and believes he was meant to be a stunt rider because that's what he does best!

Stunt riders, competitors all gel like one big family

At the academy, days went by like the changing of seasons - expectedly but unpredictably. Every new day brought out new challenges that we faced together as a team. And after our skill and survival stunts were shot each day we all went back to being one big family at the base camp. We shared accessories, ate and drank together, hung out in each others' cottages and played games to entertain ourselves... even cried together sometimes. Of course there were also some not so pleasant relationships, for example BJ from Black Demons and his squad leader Chahatt never got along and would fight and abuse each other all day long! BJ and Ajay (also from the same squad) hated each other's guts. The Fire Dragons hated Bhullar but luckily for them he went out the first day itself.

It was interesting to see how the competition was only getting tougher day-by-day! As we went on episode by episode, the numbers thinned out and finally the day arrived when just two - the BEST of the best - were left! Now, the whole of India awaits to see who will be India's best STUNT MANIAC 2010!

A trip to the past

I woke up with the sun shining brightly in my face, I turned around and squinted through my eyes to look for the time. It was 6 o'clock in the morning! That's when I realised that I'm on the East coast of India - the side where the sun rises earlier and the days end sooner. Coming from the West coast, it's always been hard to imagine the sun rising in the sea, but it sure makes for a beautiful site if you catch it, that is.

So here I was in Calcutta (or Kolkata) - my first trip to West Bengal, and ready to take a train to the less famous or known, Durgapur. I had already had a taste of local rosogolas prepared by the all so friendly Maharaj who looked after the guest house I lodged at. My driver was early and suggested we take off so that he may have the pleasure to give me a mini tour of the city too. I agreed that it was a brilliant idea! We passed by the old Calcutta markets, the newer commercial area, the library and bible society, Dharmatala -the government administrative area and strand road. He showed me the Victoria monument, Science city, I saw the world-famous Calcutta tram too. And then we passed over Howrah bridge over the Hugli river to Howrah railway station. The entire tour which lasted under 2 hours was so colourful - yellow and green rickshaws, public buses in even more colours with fancy designs on their rear, the great Ambassador taxis in bright yellow. The station itself was unique - you could drive 'into' the station and pull up parallel along the platform since there was a road that ran all the way through the station in between platforms and went out the other side. So, inside you saw train engines, train compartments, coolies, passengers, shops, stalls, families, bikes, cars, hand carts and even bicycles. I thought it was an extremely convenient and smart concept; why hadn't Mumbai thought of it?

The journey to Durgapur is just around 2 hours on the Shatabdi. The trains here though aren't very exciting - with the Eastern railways still using the old coaches that perhaps ran in the early 80s. The atmosphere in Durgapur was entirely different - Durgapur could be in any state, any part of the country. It has no distinct Bengally characteristic to it. What I did notice is that this small town was rapidly developing. On one hand I saw houses built of mud and families rearing goats and hens while on the other I saw large manufacturing plants with their housing colonies spread across wide, open expanses of the town. Durgapur was also growing with educational institutes springing up at every bend, ranging from management colleges to hospitality and software.

I stayed at a nice guest house situated in a quiet and residential area on Sir Martin Luther King road. What I loved about the place is the density of trees and the unimaginable variety of birds that lived there. I heard the sweetest sounds of chirping and singing all day long while I explored the area. At times it would thunder and there would be light drizzles which made the air cool. It was always windy so the heat was never unbearable. The soil here made it perfect for gardening and most neighbouring houses had the prettiest flower gardens I had seen in a long time. When the afternoon came, things got quite still with not many people or vehicles moving around, so I'd sit in the veranda and stare into the trees, watching the birds dance from one branch to another. And that's when nostalgia suddenly sank in - this was my life when I grew up, this was my life in the house I was born, this was what my grandmother missed when our house was demolished and she was forced to live in an apartment for the first time of her life because some big realty brand had the power to buy the entire estate off... this was what brought her an early death.

I never did understand at that time what it must have done to her. Of course, we all missed and mourned having to give up our massive house with the most well manicured garden in the heart of Mulund in 1999, we all wondered what life would be like living in an apartment, we all were disappointed. But my grandmother, Irene, didn't let us know how difficult it was going to be for her; how she was a free bird who wasn't used to be caged. In the old days at the old house, every occasion was a feast; every birthday was a celebration; every guest in Mumbai was our guest. The apartment changed it all. Grandma Irene no longer cooked for 8-10 families on a feast day, she no longer baked her awesome rum cakes, and no longer watered her rose garden.

It took me a trip to Durgapur 11 years after our little Durgapur was taken away from us to relive the pain that lead to Irene Fernandes' slow death. How long with it take our generation to realise what we're doing to all the beautiful land and trees around us and for the future generations?

Celebrating womanhood!

Today's headlines: '14 years on, women's quota bill may get smooth passage'.

It's noteworthy that our country is taking some measure to ensure women get equal status and opportunity. What the reality is, is of course a different debate altogether.

With International Women's day being recognized as part of the 68 internationally celebrated commemorative days, and having been celebrated for over a century now it's disturbing why women in so many parts of the world still struggle to claim their social and economic rights. One may debate that the law is discriminative in may countries and regions, some may even say that we live in a patriarchal society and so things naturally trend towards women being superseded by the male. But then again it's the chicken and the egg story!

A very interesting statement in the sermon by the priest last evening, speaking on women's day, left me pondering:

We each are guilty for STILL patronizing patriarchy!

In a marriage, why does the man always have to be older than the woman, taller, earning more, be better or equally qualified? Why does the woman have to leave her home and family and start afresh, while the man's life stays pretty much the same? Why does the woman have to change her name and her identity? The list is endless...

My question to women out there:

Do you have it in you to do the opposite? Will you marry a younger guy and be the main bread winner of the family? Will you buy a house for your future husband? Will you marry a shorter and lesser qualified man?

My question to the men reading this:

Are you intimidated by women that are equally or more successful? Will you change your name after marriage? Will you be a stay-home father while your woman pursues her career?

As I write this piece today, a hymn from my school calendar book comes to mind:

"It takes courage to answer a call

it takes courage to give your all

It takes courage to risk your name

it takes courage to be true

It takes courage to dare what no other will share

To be standing alone, One who no one will own

To be ready to stake for another man's sake

It takes courage to be true."