Break Ke Baad

Procrastination isn't a word I like, because it makes me feel incompetent, but that's what I've been doing with my blogging.  It's almost a year since my last post (Wow! A whole year has gone by. And that also means I'm a whole year older) and even with a plum for my right ring finger today after a mishap at the gym, I am determined to put an end to this impasse.

What's changed in 12 months - Let's see: my marital status (for beginners), a new home, a new life, different responsibilities and of course a whole list of other things that come with being 'MARRIED'.  So, I decided this is what I was going to blog about - My encounter with new life.

I've set sail on my new journey with Sagar Mali

I must start with saying that I never thought this would be me - All settled with a husband and a ring on my finger. I always imagined life to be just the same like it was - carefree and independent! Somehow sharing it with one other individual for the rest of my life didn't fit into that equation before.  And I never missed a thing with adventure, thrill, work, excitement, challenges and travel keeping me more company than I could handle. Everything seemed sorted out for me; why would I want to disturb the equilibrium? Until... Sagar happened to me.

When I look back and think about what made me alter the equilibrium, what clearly strikes me is never before having met another human being more caring, considerate and loving as this man.  But of course that wasn't the all-discerning reason, there was more. Here I was this  independent woman, completely unstoppable, who knew how to handle just about anything and had just about everything planned out for herself. Then came along a guy who's very nature is completely grounded and apart from the rest, with the highest self-confidence (damn, he beat me to it too!) and yet whose focus was selfless. The more I got to know him the lesser I realised I knew of me; the further away I tried to get from him the farther I got from my soul.  He caused both a confused mix of satisfying comfort and a disturbing uneasiness that made me feel incomplete for the first time in my life.  With the passion of a creator and the nurture of a gardener he planted seeds of the future in my life that were so deep-rooted, God alone could have been the mastermind.

It's no wonder then that the whole year that went by seems transcendental. And now that I've emerged on the other side of the marital fence; I can safely say marriage is not a phase or a planned progressive stage in anyone's life. It's only the most indigenous opportunity to begin a whole new life without being reborn!

This is not to say that my 'past' life was not good enough. I love both my lives; but that Janice lived to the fullest and died a 100 year old woman (in terms of fulfillment) and this Janice is only a new-born infant curious and eager to experience the new one.  I'M BACK!